"Dear Christian" (a song)

you're the fresh air that I needed
before I withered away
and the spark of a lighter
keeping me from losing all my flames

when you're with me the world spins faster
and the road's a little more dangerous
but danger's what I'm craving
and the path I'm on is intended for the reckless
yeah, danger's what I'm craving
and I'm feeling a little reckless

I like it when you feel me
it always gives me a thrill
and baby when you kiss me
it's only a matter of time until
I feel that current surging again

and that electricity is on fire
I want to burn to the ground with you
you've jump-started something in me

yeah that electricity is on fire
I want to burn to the ground with you
you've jump-started something in me
baby it's you I desire


please let me keep feeling this
please keep this girl alight
give me something worth holding on to
because holding on to you feels right

Welcome, September

The chill in the night air... the familiar scent of the nearby fair...  It's here.  The excitement of new beginnings does not come in the spring--no, it is now.  In September, when the leaves start to change and the temperature drops lower.  When pumpkins grow riper and a new school year begins.  When I slip into a more reclusive state and savor the feel of wool and the weight of my boots.

I've acquired paints and brushes of my own!  I can't wait to start producing entire bodies of work.  I'm still familiarizing myself with the techniques and capabilities of acrylics.  What better way to spend the first of September than a new concept, good music, wine, tea, and a wonderful friend.

I welcome the fall with all of my heart.

The Art Adventure Begins...

A beautiful day with a fantastic friend, sitting in the grass and basking in the summer's heat under a shady tree.  There's no better way to start the day, and today is the day I begin to paint.

" Megan's Fence " © Christina Crawford 2012

The Longboard

The sun is hot, but the wind... the wind that is gently pulling back my hair and dancing across my face is familiar.  The serene feeling washes over me as I coast down the slight decline in the unused road.  I kick myself forward on the long board, gaining confidence with each motion, propelling myself forward.  Watching my shadow curve back and forth in a small lazy wave along the asphalt, I can't help but think of Goldfrapp's music video for their song "Caravan Girl."  I nervously drag my toe along the ground swimming beneath me.  I hear the friction between my shoe and the loose flecks of gravel separating it from the road and skid to an abrupt stop.  Even though stopping is tricky, I want to go faster.

I build my courage in an escalating fashion--welcoming the rush of wind the faster I descend down each slope.  This is so simple, but trusting in your abilities is a much different thing when the world is sprinting by faster than you're prepared to run.  I lean into the turn and smile as the sun beams down and I'm feeling confident in keeping myself steady.  After all, it's the only insurance I have against tearing myself up on the ground!  I trust myself, and I want to go faster.

The Epiphany

I feel it beginning...  A sort of restlessness has begun to set in.  It's late and the air has a misty quality that lends to giving the sky the appearance of dark bluish black felt.  It smells like fall is coming.  The air is getting crisper, and trees are relinquishing some leaves... and that's when I realize I'm outside.  My black pea coat is buttoned up to a soft brown checked scarf in a simple knot.  I am wearing all black with the exception of white Chuck Taylors.  I must have been moved outside by my restlessness, drawn out by the peaceful quiet.  The lights on at every sconce in every cookie-cutter house in the highly developed area I call my home, beckons me out into the night.  It is time for you to shed the layers that have encased you over time.  Time to remember who you are.

As I walk I realize that I am the only one on the well lit path.  I am alone in my quest for solace, and I suddenly feel self conscious.  I don't sense any immediate danger awaiting me on this stroll, but I start to feel a creeping feeling that this is where I belong.  Alone.  I need this time to reflect upon myself, and create something for this world.  I have a purpose, and this is the period in which I will finally decipher its meaning.



The further I journey on, I try to breathe deeply.  I must take better care of my body.  When I was a child, I remember breathing in the night deeply--sitting in the sill of my large window.  I let the scent of everything surrounding me permeate my body and fill me with a nocturnal energy that this time only reaches my mouth.  I can taste the air but the sensation of the world around me remains outside my reach.  I gasp in air as if I'm at a lake and attempting to rush in but can only feel the water up to my ankles.  Yes, I need to take better care of myself.  Strip myself down to a healthy, agile creature and only eat when it's healthy and necessary.  I suddenly feel sluggish and push myself further on.  I can smell roses over a tall fence and the wet plastic of a watering hose.  I spend some time recognizing every faint scent I approach, and my mind wanders.

Are there spirits around me?  I reach out to touch the hand of a long lost soul.  What should I do?  Reality feels closer to dreams at this hour.  Can I walk into the sky as I do so often while I'm asleep?  I look across the street at a faraway tree.  The top of it in the dark, but still clearly visible, shows a crook where it would be easy to perch.  Can I find a way to break the laws of physics and rush myself there in a second?  It feels possible tonight.  If only I could break out of the limits of the world I live in.

It's time.  I need to start painting.