The Epiphany

I feel it beginning...  A sort of restlessness has begun to set in.  It's late and the air has a misty quality that lends to giving the sky the appearance of dark bluish black felt.  It smells like fall is coming.  The air is getting crisper, and trees are relinquishing some leaves... and that's when I realize I'm outside.  My black pea coat is buttoned up to a soft brown checked scarf in a simple knot.  I am wearing all black with the exception of white Chuck Taylors.  I must have been moved outside by my restlessness, drawn out by the peaceful quiet.  The lights on at every sconce in every cookie-cutter house in the highly developed area I call my home, beckons me out into the night.  It is time for you to shed the layers that have encased you over time.  Time to remember who you are.

As I walk I realize that I am the only one on the well lit path.  I am alone in my quest for solace, and I suddenly feel self conscious.  I don't sense any immediate danger awaiting me on this stroll, but I start to feel a creeping feeling that this is where I belong.  Alone.  I need this time to reflect upon myself, and create something for this world.  I have a purpose, and this is the period in which I will finally decipher its meaning.



The further I journey on, I try to breathe deeply.  I must take better care of my body.  When I was a child, I remember breathing in the night deeply--sitting in the sill of my large window.  I let the scent of everything surrounding me permeate my body and fill me with a nocturnal energy that this time only reaches my mouth.  I can taste the air but the sensation of the world around me remains outside my reach.  I gasp in air as if I'm at a lake and attempting to rush in but can only feel the water up to my ankles.  Yes, I need to take better care of myself.  Strip myself down to a healthy, agile creature and only eat when it's healthy and necessary.  I suddenly feel sluggish and push myself further on.  I can smell roses over a tall fence and the wet plastic of a watering hose.  I spend some time recognizing every faint scent I approach, and my mind wanders.

Are there spirits around me?  I reach out to touch the hand of a long lost soul.  What should I do?  Reality feels closer to dreams at this hour.  Can I walk into the sky as I do so often while I'm asleep?  I look across the street at a faraway tree.  The top of it in the dark, but still clearly visible, shows a crook where it would be easy to perch.  Can I find a way to break the laws of physics and rush myself there in a second?  It feels possible tonight.  If only I could break out of the limits of the world I live in.

It's time.  I need to start painting.